Key takeaways to tune in for:

[03:01] – One of the hardest choices I’ve ever made

[05:04] – An important moment in my life that affects me until today

[07:46] – What is a trauma and what causes it

[09:02] – My childhood moment that turned into PTSD

[16:24] – An unhealthy way I adopted as a child to earn my parents’s love

[17:08] – The root cause of my constant underlying anxiety

[19:59] – Why do you must set firm boundaries for people with autism

[24:16] – Why did I have to leave my home country

[25:09] – Unhealthy behavior that is subconsciously activated in my brother’s presence

[29:17] – Conversations we MUST normalize in every family

 

This Moment Changed My Life Forever – Trauma & Anxiety

 

As I’m sitting alone in my apartment and watching the ocean, I’m feeling so grateful for the choice I made that led me to the Azores. It wasn’t an easy decision, neither was the conversation I had to have with my mum. 

“This environment has become toxic for me”, I said. No mother wants to hear that, but that was the truth. It was too much for me. During Corona, we had to spend much more time together, and it brought up a lot of things. My soul told me it’s time to live for myself so I decided to move to the Azores, and I don’t regret it, not even a little bit. 

Maybe you wonder what exactly triggered me to make such a radical decision. I’m going to be very honest and vulnerable with you. Revealing the darkest memories is never a pleasant experience, but I hope it’ll help or encourage you to heal your wounds. 

 

What Is Trauma & Its Causes

Many people think that trauma is caused by a big abuse or a brutal experience. That’s not necessarily true. It is caused by an overwhelming experience or unmet need that is stuck in our emotions. The experience or need is carved in the brain so deeply that the body still remembers it. It intoxicates us to the core of our DNA.

One of my favorite people I recommend to follow on Instagram is Mastin Kipp, a trauma expert. He talks about how trauma can be triggered by an environment. Also, how we can overcome trauma by exposing ourselves to a new environment. Mastin’s content motivated me to look into myself and rethink if I’m at the right place.

To be honest, this was not the first time this question was raised, however, I got to the point where I could no longer say no to my needs and my own healing and healthy life. Being in lockdown brought a lot of tough conversations about co-dependency and unhealthy behavior that wasn’t prosperous for any of us. 

 

How One Traumatic Experience Can Develop Anxiety for a Life

As I mentioned before, many things were brought up during covid, and one of them was my childhood memory about a family trip to Croatia. It was a day full of fun, and in the evening, Samko and I fell asleep in a hotel room. Our parents got out of the room for some reason. I don’t know why but they left us alone. I wish they would tell me they were leaving…

I remember waking up because Samko was crying. After I realized our parents weren’t there, I took him out of a baby crib and tried to calm him down. I was nine years old, and I had no idea what to do. I was terrified! I was a child in a foreign country who didn’t speak the language, locked in a room with a screaming baby. 

Thankfully, I spoke a little bit of English and managed to call reception. Somehow, I explained to a receptionist that I’m alone with my crying brother and can’t find our parents. I begged her to find them. After a while, the receptionist managed to find our parents, and they returned to the room. 

It was one of the worst moments in my life. It might have been just a couple of minutes, but it felt like an eternity. This moment was so deeply rooted in my brain and DNA that it became a traumatic experience for me.

And that’s how my anxiety was born. It didn’t get any easier as we were growing up. I was always responsible for Samko because he didn’t care about shoving a child too hard, getting run over by a car, or touching a dog who would bite him. A walk can be a relaxing activity for someone, but for me, it was a constant fear of danger for my brother.

Looking at it all back, I don’t blame my parents. They didn’t know better, neither did I. We learned together how to handle those situations. I’m grateful for mum being strict and setting up boundaries that protect Samko and us, too (unfortunately, not all parents do that). We focus on our mental health, and we have uncomfortable conversations that help us heal together. 

I encourage you to do the same. Normalize regular mental health check-ins in your family, talk about your needs and heal your inner child. If you need help, book a call with me HERE and let’s overcome your traumas together so you can create a healthy lifestyle and home for your family.

 

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