Key takeaways to tune in for:

[01:50] – Why should you ALWAYS listen to siblings of autistics

[02:15] – What is autism pass

[03:25] – A sneak peek of autism pass that my brother Samko uses on a daily basis

[05:12] – How can be autism pass damaging and disempowering for autistic people

[07:00] – A shocking realization I had with time and experience when it comes to autism pass and Samko

[11:26] – This what you can do right now to ditch autism pass and support growth instead

[12:55] – An extremely honest talk I had with my brother and how mum thought I was crazy

[15:48] – Samko’s reaction might sound like a sci-fi movie to you

[17:49] – Surprising results of the conversation

[20:50] – How to ditch autism once and for all

[24:11] – The conversation we MUST have as regards autism pass

Why We Must Ditch Autism Pass

I want to talk to you about something that we siblings of autistic experience daily but don’t want to talk about. Before we dive in, I must warn you. This topic might be a trigger for some people, so if you decide to stick around, please try to keep an open mind as you read this blog.

People often think that autistics can’t perform certain tasks or contribute to their families – emotionally, physically, or financially. I remember as a child, I had to help at home, and I questioned why my autistic non-verbal brother Samko doesn’t have to. Mum always responded in the same way: “He can’t. He has autism.” Does that sound familiar?

Here is what I found out when it comes to these situations. It’s not always about autism! Let me share with you what I learned about autism pass, how it shows up in our family and how you can ditch it.

What Is Autism Pass?

Autism pass is an excuse that we use for the behavior of autistic people that we would usually not tolerate with others. I used to think that Samko can’t bring money to the table or help with house chores, but with time and experience, I realized it’s BS! He can!

I love my brother, and I know him very well. I can tell when he uses autism pass because he is lazy and when he genuinely isn’t able to do something because of autism. The truth is we tend to spoil autistics. We have good intentions, we want to make them happy, but instead, we put them in victim mode. We disempower them. That’s why we need to ask ourselves, do we support independence or codependency?

How to Ditch Autism Pass?

Have honest conservation. Open your mind and heart, say: “Show me. I trust you. I know you can do this, and I’m here to listen to you and support you.” You might be surprised by what you discover when you ask questions out loud.

As a sibling, I look at situations differently than mum does when it comes to Samko. I saw his potential, but I also knew he needed help to wake it up. When he turned eighteen, I gave him some tough love. I sat him down, and we had THE TALK.

I told him he’s a man now and that he needs to contribute to our family the same way as each of us does. I explained to him how important his role is and that we need his help and support. I motivated him by talking about traveling. I told him he can achieve it by painting his art and selling it.

Mum first thought that I’m crazy for having this conversation with Samko. “He won’t understand what you’re saying.” But during the talk, as she watched us, she realized he did understand. His facial expression changed, he got excited and hyped. Samko wanted to travel and help us. Afterward, I put up an ad on Instagram and told him to manifest new clients. So he did. He manifested three new clients within three days and earned 400 euros.

We need to create space and a supportive environment for autistics to achieve independence and financial freedom. It’s not fair to take power from people who are gifted in so many ways because of OUR limiting beliefs and fears. We need to give them a chance to see what they can bring to the table because they can bring a LOT.

So next time, when you say: “It’s not their fault, they have autism.” take time to evaluate if it is an accurate statement or gives autism pass. Because we cannot have empowerment, inclusion, greatness, equality, and acceptance if we give autism pass. Ditch it and embrace the road to independence. If you are ready to push your mindset and beliefs, book a call with me HERE, and let’s shift from fear to empowerment together.

Resources from this episode:

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